Meeting Tom John

I called Rudy back as soon as I corralled all of my luggage from the Greyhound bus and found a quiet corner inside Port Authority. He said our meeting at the Zoom office was pushed back to 3 o'clock so I should go to the hotel and hang out for a while.

I dragged my stuff a few blocks to Hotel Pennsylvania. It's right across the street from Madison Square Garden. I told the woman at the front desk that I had lost my key. She made me a new key and I headed for the elevators.

When I entered the room it was trashed. Rudy said that he and Tom John, my room mate for the next five weeks whom I had not yet met, had slept in the room the night before. Tonight it would be Tom John and myself.

There were clothes everywhere. Both beds were a mess of sheets and personal belongings. There were skivvies on the bathroom floor. The place was a mess. Exhausted I picked the tidier of the two beds and lay down for a quick nap.

The next thing I remember is someone trying to get into the room. The intruder had a key but the safety latch had closed after I got into the room so the door kept banging against the it. I tried to shake out the cobwebs and stumbled over to the door. I moved the latch over and opened wide.

I see a dude in front of me that looks like Ali G's younger brother. He was wearing a hip-hop style hoodie and baggy jeans. His complexion was dark and he looked young, not more than 22. Oh yeah, he had a look of absolute shock on his face. Maybe terror is a better word.

Me (groggily): What's up man?

Dude: Yash-am-ken-til-fee

I could feel my brow furrowing and my head shaking gently as I tried to decipher what language this dude was speaking.

Me (confused as hell): What's up???

Then the dude took his eyes off of mine for the first time and he glanced around me. When he noticed his open bags behind me in the room his eyes popped open like the runaway bride and then he really freaked. Dude stole one last glance at me, said some more indecipherable stuff, then sprinted around the corner and out of site.

I stood and watched the empty hallway for a moment, shook my head again, then shut the door and went inside. What the fuck was that shit I asked myself. Was I in the wrong room? Did the woman at the desk give me the wrong key? The dude's key worked. My key worked. What the hell is going on here? I opt to take the safe route and grab my shit and go down to the front desk to clear this shit up.


When the elevator door opened in the lobby I walked out and slid to the right. The dude was there in the lobby. He was furiously motioning to a very large man who was wearing a blue vest and carrying a walkie talkie. Blue vest man was listening to dude but dude was stammering and stuttering so much blue vest dude couldn't keep up. The dude was motioning with his hands and practically running in little circles as he told his story as elevator doors opened and closed around him. Streams of tourists went to and fro and I was able to sit back and watch the whole interaction without alerting them to my presence.

Finally blue vest dude got the drift. Dude went to his room and someone was in there that he didn't know. He assured dude that he would go with him and check it out. Before they could make it to the elevator dude got on his cellphone. He spoke in English now but with a thick accent which I certainly could not place. Closest I could place was Eastern European but his appearance made that unlikely.

"RUDY, I WENT TO MY ROOM AND THERE WAS A GUY IN THERE JUST CHEELLING!!"

He pronounced chilling as cheeling.

"YES. NO. NO, HE WAS JUST CHEELLING IN THERE. CHEELLING IN MY ROOM!!!"

"I'M TELLING YOU THAT HE WAS JUST CHEELLING IN THERE. CHEELLING IN MY BED!!! FUCKING GUY WAS JUST CHEELING!!"

Blue vest dude was just looking down as this dude just panicked and all out acted a fool right in the lobby. He looked frazzled his damn self. I decided to move in.

I stepped up to the dudes, luggage, laptop and backpack in tow.

Me: That's me. I'm the dude that was cheeling in your room.

Blue vest dude looks at me slightly amazed but mostly confused.

Panic dude looks at me too. He's still on his phone but he stops in mid sentence. He looks like a person in a horror movie who thought they had managed to lose the serial killer but when they turn around he is standing right there again even though there's no logical way the killer could have made up that ground so fast. Panic dude shouts into the phone and at blue vest dude simultaneously...

"HE IS HERE! HE IS HERE! RUDY. THE GUY FROM MY ROOM IS HERE!!"


Me: Rudy is my boss. We're going to be working together. He told me to get a key for the room.

Panic dude looks like he doesn't understand a single word of what I'm saying. I decide to direct my conversation toward blue vest guy.

Me (to blue vest dude): I was the guy in his room. I'm the one he's talking about.

BVD: Wait a minute. Do you know him?

Me: Yes. Well, no actually. I know who he is but I've never met him before he tried to go into his room and I was there.

BVD: What the hell? Gimme your ID's....both of you gimme your ID's.

Me (as BVD looks over both of our ID's): Me and him are going to be working together. The guy he's on the phone with is our boss.

BVD is looking so confused so I opt to go back to panic dude and try to convince him that I am his co-worker that he should know that he is meeting today.

Me (to panic dude): "Dude, we're working together. Rudy is my boss. He told me to go to the room. I'm Dan."

He is starting to come around. He keeps staring at me though with his mouth agape. Finally he just hands me his phone.

Me (on phone): Hello

Rudy: Dan, I'm soooooooo sorry. I'm soooo sorry Dan.

Me: It's cool man, what the hell is this dudes problem? He's spazzing!

Rudy: He's cool, he's cool. He's only been in the US for three months. He just saw a 6 foot 4 white dude in his room and he got scared that's all.

Me: Dude looked like he wanted to fight me or something, then he just jetted off.

Rudy: No no no, he ain't gonna do shit. He's a choreographer.


The panic dude motioned for his phone back so I passed Rudy off to him. Panic dude walked off and chatted on the phone while I explained the whole situation to blue vest dude.

Me: I don't know man, this guy should have known he was meeting me. We're gonna be working together for the next 5 weeks. We're gonna be traveling together the whole time.

BVD: 5 weeks!! Good luck man. What the hell business are you guys in?

Me: Promotions....we travel around the country....ummmm....promoting...stuff.

BVD (thoroughly confused by my lackluster explanation: Oh?!?!

Just then panic dude comes back over. He hangs up the phone and extends his hand. We shake. He says his name is Tom John.

The security dude seems satisfied and he gives us our ID's back. My new bud and I head back up to our room. Fuckin a dudes, this is going to be a long 5 weeks. Later in the room he explained that in his country it is common for terrorists to just cheel in people's room and that's why he was so scared. I told him that I was taking a nap and just woke up when I heard him banging on the door. He said he thought I was drunk.




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